24.04.20 Eng Day 24 Poetry

Day 5: To edit and improve my poem. 

Even the best authors edit! Roald Dahl, who wrote 'The Dentist and the Crocodile', once said:

"You must be a perfectionist. That means you must not be satisfied with what you have written until you have rewritten it again and again, making it as good as you possibly can." 

In order to edit your poem, ask yourself:

• Have you used your neatest, cursive handwriting?
• Have you checked your spelling using a dictionary, a thesaurus or google?
• Have you used "speech marks" to show when somebody is talking? 
• Have you started a new line with a capital letter for every phrase? 
• Have you included rhyming words?

Now that you have checked your writing, you can improve it! Here are some ways that you could improve your writing. Remember- you don't have to change everything, if you already like a phrase, leave it as it is!

• Add some interesting adjectives to describe your nouns. 
• Add some powerful verbs. 
• Add some adverbs to describe the verbs.
• Use a variety of punctuation . , ?! " " 
• CHALLENGE: Could you add alliteration? This is when two words begin with the same sound e.g. the cunning crocodile. 

Miss Vardy has edited her poem with green pen. Below is her final draft.  

The Dentist and the Snake

The snake, eating a chocolate flake, sat in the dentist's reclining chair,
He said, "Right here and everywhere, my teeth require repair."

The devoted dentist looked in horror, she wanted to rapidly run and hide,
But she decided to face her ferocious fears, and said "You'd better open wide".

She took one swift glance at the snake's terrifying teeth and noticed a rotten fang,
The dentist instantly leapt back and gasped "You've eaten too much meringue!"

The sneaky snake replied, "That's not possible, I only eat healthy snacks like apples, cucumber and melon."
It was then, that the dentist noticed the snake's sly smile and a vibrant drop of venom.


Well done Year 3, you should now have completed your poem! Miss Vardy and Miss Robinson would love to hear them... you could: 

• Write your poem on paper and take a picture of it (you could illustrate it too by drawing pictures around it).
• Type your poem on a tablet or computer and email it. 
• Perform your own poem and film it!

We will be choosing some of our favourites to share on the blog. Don't forget to email them to:

year3@hilltop.doncaster.sch.uk